External expectations come from family, society and other aspects, which widely exist and have a great impact on individuals. This study explores how external expectations influence individual well-being and ways to reduce the impact of external expectations. The results show that external expectations can be generated through social comparison theory and belonging needs, and affect individuals through pressure and restraint. In order to achieve true inner happiness, individuals need to redefine the standard of happiness and enhance their sense of autonomy and psychological resilience. Reducing the impact of external expectations is not only conducive to the realization of inner happiness of individuals, but also conducive to the positive progress of society. To achieve happiness, individuals need to change their concepts and improve their mental toughness, in addition to changing external conditions. This study provides a new perspective on the realization of individual self-actualization.